Like most couples getting married in a church, we are doing a marriage preparation course through our local church.
I had huge preconceptions about what it was going to be like, and wasn’t really looking forward to pouring out the innards of our relationship to a couple we knew quite well (our minister and his wife).
I was imagining feeling completely ashamed at our failures, our arguments, and where they rose from (quite a few have them have been my fault). I was also dreading conversations about previous relationships, which for me is a tender subject- having been in a previous (non-christian) relationship which left me emotionally bruised, and is a sore subject for Mr M. I thought it would all be dragged back up again, and was reasoning with myself that as a couple we have talked it all through, and we both understand each others feelings about it- and are moving forward. I didn’t want to go over it again!
Luckily it wasn’t like that at all. We did the course presented by Nicky and Sila Lee, from Relationship Central: http://www.relationshipcentral.org/
It is a series of videos encompassing a range of topics, accompanied by a workbook summarising the video, and gibing you exercises to do with your partner at regular intervals during the video.
The videos were light and sometimes comical (and painfully middle class at times), but were a really good starting point for having serious conversations about real issues that can come up during the course of a marriage.
There is also a 180 question survey that you need to take. It’s exhausting, but after running through the results last night- we feel it was worth it.
Apparently we are over 80% compatible (based on our answers), 90% ready for marriage, 88% spiritually aligned and 100% aligned on our ideas on finances (I’m a trainee Financial Adviser- I’ll clearly be a good one!).
We weren’t so good at conflict resolution- and spent nearly two hours working through specific examples of arguments in our past and how to work them through differently. Whilst painful and sometimes embarrassing, it was a very useful exercise, and we left feeling encouraged about our future.
It was definitely something that Mrs Morris will treasure as being an equipping time. If you get the opportunity to do it yourself, I would thoroughly recommend it.
Who is Mrs Morris? 